Dating and conversation topics

20-Oct-2019 11:30

"Though you and your date may already overlap in areas like education or religion, it’s vital to build rapport on other topics too," says relationship expert and sociologist Dr. “Try to draw parallels between their experiences and interests and your own,” adds Carbino, who has lead research for Bumble and Tinder.

Expand upon what you've learned from the initial source of connection to propel the dialogue.

For example, if you matched online, refer to something in their dating profile and ask them a question about the topic, says Carbino.

If a mutual friend set you up, unpack how each of you knows them. If you’re not sure how to jump into a conversation, comment about something in your environment.

And here’s an important question for you at this point: Do the things that are going to make them happy resonate with you?

Our philosophy of life steers our values and is often the root of many choices a person makes. On generosity of finances or time: Do they serve anywhere or give of themselves to the less fortunate or a cause that matters to them?

For starters, you could ask them if they've ever been to the coffee shop, park or wherever they proposed to meet, before, or if they spend significant time in that neighborhood, says Carbino.

For you, maybe it’s owning a home, having a healthy family, getting out of debt or winning the next season of According to Cloud, one way to dig into this can be asking: “So, if we were sitting here two years from now, what would have happened in your life for you to say 'things are really good?“Anything you know that’s a nonstarter for you should be brought up early," he adds.Of course, you can coax into it throughout the conversation so you're not hitting them with these big life questions right away, but better to know sooner than later.An inherent trait of any effective reporter is inquisitiveness.

Though your date isn’t an interview, you trying to learn parts of who this person is and their story. “Life should be fun, especially dating,” says Cloud.For example, if you ask how long they’ve been on a dating site and what their experience has been, are they saying belittling things like "There are so many idiots out there.” Or, are they more level-headed, with responses such as “I've met some nice people, and had some good experiences..of course, some that weren't.” Cloud says focusing on conversation patterns like this is an essential tip to gauge character.