In an age-gap relationship, you’re trading in different currencies, but each holds its own value.
And while sharing parallel life experiences with someone has its clear comforts, it’s not exactly jerk-off material.
We were also both newly into BDSM, which realistically was a more significant point of connection than I’d had with most of my age-appropriate exes. In your mid-20s, dating your peers can be harrowing—you’re drowning in a sea of street falafel, mezzanine beds, and entry-level head.
So when you meet someone who has clean towels in their bathroom and, like, a , it’s intoxicating.
The Older Man had cool friends who had made movies and weren’t on their parents’ family plan. But while the daddy vibe had longevity in bed, in life it got old pretty quickly.
He gave me helpful advice on my career (“Don’t fuck your boss”) and about sex (“Stop screaming”). Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant.
Previously, she seriously dated someone 27 years her senior. “It’s not like I’m sitting at home searching ‘lesbian age gap’ on Pornhub or whatever.Personally, the times I’ve dated guys six or so years younger than me, I worried at points that I was checking some “older woman” box for them. While it was an ego boner to be desired by someone with eerily smooth skin who wanted to fuck nine times a day, it also shined a light on my own stupid, petty insecurities.Like the time I stalked one Younger Guy’s Instagram, obsessing over whether the girls in his photos looked younger than me. But if you can get over your insecurities, I think there’s something to be gained from dating people of different ages—even if the relationships don’t last “forever.” When you’re the younger person in the couple, you get to soak up all your partner’s earned wisdom about life and sex, and it’s nice to feel cared for in that way.“One thing that’s cool about dating someone younger is that I don’t have to deal with, like, DVRs and shit.
When you date someone from a generation that doesn’t remember dial-up, they just fix all of that Internet stuff for you. She also keeps me in the know about who the new cool rapper or cool model is, which I no longer have the energy to figure out by myself.”But then sometimes an age gap can make you feel like you’re from different planets.
The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible.